Wedding Blues
by ss9
Summary: Gremlin's response to the Servant's challenge, at Grace & George's wedding two members of the senior staff reach a new understanding.


Wedding…

The act of marrying: the ceremony or celebration of marriage.

Hmmmmm…Flora Ryan had a slightly different definition of the term 'wedding' as she sipped her…(how many had she had now?…it didn't matter) glass of wine.

Wedding…

A depressing event, which is just a hopeless reminder to those who are lonely, that they are going to die alone, having never been loved or cared for by another.

But look how happy they looked together, Flora thought wistfully, as she watched the happy couple waltz around the dance floor. Their faces were lit up with happiness and she envied the way he held her so close.

To add insult to injury, they weren't the only 'loved up' couple drooling all over each other in the room. The newlyweds were joined by a number of couples winding their way around the dance floor, desperately avoiding the rather inebriated Andrew Adams as he swung the stunned Mrs Diggins around.

This wedding seemed to be an excuse for a large amount of groping and fondling, which usually would have had the righteous housekeeper pulling out her hair. However, at the moment she didn't seem to care thanks to the large amount of alcohol she had knocked back so far that evening.

Staring glumly down into her, once again, empty glass. Reaching drunkenly out for the nearest bottle to her, weakly attempting to pull it towards her, only to find it being pulled in the opposite direction. Glancing up in wonderment, she managed (only just) to focus on the butler, who was now apologising and releasing his hold on the bottle.

"After you, Mrs Ryan," he insisted, watching in amusement as she tipped the remaining liquid into her glass, before placing her eye over the neck of the bottle to check it was really empty. Frowning, she glanced from her half full glass to his empty one. She quickly solved the problem, by attempting to pour half of her wine into his, however the majority of it ended up on the table.

Walter Corey watched her in…was it shock or enjoyment? He'd never seen her like this before. Shouldn't she be observing the party in disgust? Running around the place huffing loudly, encouraging her girls to not drink too much, as they had a busy day tomorrow and reprimanding his men for not being able to keep their hands to themselves. Yet here she sat on her own, seemingly oblivious to what was going on around her.

"How long do you think it'll be until she collapses?" Felix sniggered, sitting himself between the butler and the housekeeper, delighting in watching Mrs Diggins wheeze, while the unaware under-butler spun her forcefully and continually under his arm.

"No more than 10 minutes," Walter answered slowly. He'd thought for a moment, Felix had been talking about Mrs Ryan, he wasn't…but he could have been she too looked ready to collapse into a heap (a smaller heap though).

"10? I'd say 5! What do you think Mrs Ryan?" The chef asked jovially.

"2 and a half minutes," she giggled uncontrollably, smiling for the first time all night. "I have a feeling we may be seeing the contents of her stomach before she collapses though."

"Indeed," the chef cringed through a giggle himself. The colour was rapidly draining from the lady's maids face.

"I'm surprised the idiot hasn't passed out himself yet," Jarvis growled, referring to his drunken under-butler.

"Any time soon I should imagine, he does seem to be slowly down a little. I may be brave enough to venture the dance floor again in a moment. Care to join me Mrs Ryan?" Felix smiled at her, taking a big bow before offering her his hand.

"As delightful as your offer is Mr Kraus, I should probably sit this one out," Flora giggled, fumbling around for her glass, with she sipped at.

"Probably best, Mrs Ryan, wouldn't want to make a scene," the butler whispered to her, once Felix had disappeared to ask the very put out Susan for a dance, who had been watching Mrs Diggins all night, the jealously obvious.

The housekeeper had caught the butler's cold comment and understanding his meaning, had hastily put down her glass. She was beginning to feel rather nauseous, the combination of the alcohol and the heat and loud noise in the room was making her feel dizzy.

Taking a deep calming breath, she straightened her back against the chair. Pulling out a handkerchief from somewhere in her dress, she began to mop the sticky moisture from the forehead.

"Are you quite alright Mrs Ryan?" Walter asked worriedly, as she stumbled up from her chair, clinging onto the table for support.

"Yes, thank you Mr Jarvis. I just need a little fresh air," she replied adamantly. It was a good job the butler was ready to steady her the second she let go of the table.

Luckily all present were too busy helping Mrs Diggins and Mr Adams off the floor to noticed the butler having to half carry the housekeeper out of the nearest door.

The housekeeper was relieved to feel the cool breeze wash over her, as she was able to get her bearings again. Walter was able to lower her without much hassle down onto the small step in front of the door, before he was able to relax his arms again.

"How are you feeling?" Walter asked after a moment of watching some of the heat leave her cheeks.

"Ill, ridiculous and embarrassed," she groaned, allowing her head to fall into her hands. Flora could feel the effects of the alcohol beginning to fade and was now realising the consequences of her actions, for starters the man in front of her. What must he think of her now? And what about the rest of the staff, had they like the butler noticed her glugging all that wine? She hoped to god they hadn't.

"Well if you are going to be sick any time soon, I'd appreciate if you warned me before hand so I can quickly back away," He joked, nudging her with his elbow in an attempt to make her smile. "As for feeling ridiculous and embarrassed well…between you and me, even I myself have been intoxicated on occasion."

"I hope you don't think less of me," she groaned again, rubbing her spinning head. "I've just had a bit of a rotten day." He nodded understandingly he had too.

"I couldn't think less of you for having a couple of drinks. In fact, I'm quite thankful that you gave me a perfectly legitimate excuse to leave."

"They looked awfully sweet together though, don't you think?" She murmured, smiling as she thought back to the happy couple.

"Yes," Walter whispered almost inaudibly, "I hope they realise how lucky they are to have each other and they make the most of it." Flora nodded in agreement and they both let out a deep sigh in unison. At this coincidence, they both chuckled, turning to face each other.

"I'm sure they do know. You only have to look at them together to realise how much they love each other."

Walter nodded sadly in agreement, "Yes. It's enough to make you feel sick with jealousy…you can't help wanting to know what it feels like." He was mumbling to himself now, but Flora just about able to hear the words he was uttering.

"What what feels like?"

He didn't answer for a moment, he wasn't used to sharing his private thoughts and feelings with anyone. Could he really share with another his deepest wish? "What it feels like to be loved by someone else."

He'd always wanted to know what it felt like, ever since he'd been a child and he'd seen parents holding and loving their children. That was something he'd never had as a child and now as an adult he'd still never been loved.

"I suppose when you reach my age you begin to give up hope," he added, when she didn't say anything.

Flora knew the feeling all too well. Maybe not to the same extent as her superior, after all she knew the story of his childhood; being put into the orphanage as a baby and never having a loving family. She may have had a loving family, but every night she dreamt of being wrapped in someone's arms while they told her they loved her.

"I suppose my greatest fear is of dying having never experienced what it's like to be loved." He whispered, before inwardly cringing. Had he really just told her that?

Flora wasn't sure if the dizziness she was now feeling was from the effects of alcohol or from the fact she longed to reach out and grasp his hand that was so close to her own.

"You are so loved Walter," she whispered so quietly that he had to really strain his ears to hear, unable to believe what he was hearing when he did. He turned to look at her in confusion, hoping that she was blushing for the reason he thought she was.

"I mean look at today for example," she exclaimed, jumping to her feet to put some distance between them. She regretted it immediately as she felt her head complain and she swayed dangerously until Walter rose too and held her to keep her on her feet.

"Who was the first person George told about the wedding? Who did Grace ask to give her away?" She continued after getting over the shock of him holding her so close. "You," she added softly. "Everyone here loves you and you don't even seem to know it. All your footmen are one day hoping to make butler, they are looking up to you and they admire you."

"I guess you are saying, they all love me like a father figure?" He smiled and she nodded. He never thought of his staff like that before, but he realised that she was right. "So if everyone here loves me…does that mean you do as well?"

"I suppose it does."

"You suppose? Not quite the passionate declaration I was hoping for," he growled, pushing her firmly away, but at the same time making sure she wasn't about to keel over without his support.

Stunned by his outburst, Flora watched as he turned from her. Ready to storm back into the house, muttering something about her not taking him seriously and how he didn't come out here to be made a mockery of. Realising how sensitive he seemed to be, she darted forward, catching his hand just before he opened the door again. He span around to face her, ready to pull his hand away and storm back inside, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the pleading look in her eyes that begged him not to go.

"There is no need to be so defensive Wal…Mr Jarvis," she corrected herself.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be?" He asked. His voice sounded sharp, but his eyes were softer as they glanced at his hand that was still joined to hers.

She paused, thinking of a reply to calm him. "I'd never mock you, I meant every word I said before. Everybody in this house loves you so much…I love you so much," she added in the quietest of whispers.

Walter was struck by the tenderness in her voice as she announced this fact for the second time, yet in a completely different way. In that moment, as he glanced across at her face he knew that she meant every word she'd uttered. There was a gentle, almost desperate expression on her face. She was waiting for his response, hoping to God he wasn't about to push her away and leave.

He didn't though. He reached out and affectionately ran the back of his finger down the side of her face. He was lost for words, what did one say in reply to such a declaration? How did one act?

However, he didn't have to find out thankfully…or was he disappointed? But at that moment Andrew Adams decided to use his impeccable sense of timing to stumble out of the door grasping around for a wall or something to keep him on his feet. But it wasn't long before he was sprawled on the floor.


End file.
